Sometimes toy nun chucks and a
court jester hat are not enough to keep the young crowds awake during my
anti-bullying speeches. But I do
my absolute best and must sometimes accept that I won’t have control over the
situation. One time I paid a
videography company eight hundred dollars to splice an hour-long presentation
into a 15-minute YouTube video and I requested they edit out footage of a
little girl sleeping. My worst
nightmare is when the students fail to laugh when an audience normally laughs. Or when the constantly interrupt the
flow of my talks with obnoxious questions. When they are not responsive toward my messages to create
mercy and compassion for those students who lead lives of rejection. I leave with the understanding that
abuse will continue toward individuals regardless of whether they suffer from
mild autism or are just a little bit different with no diagnosis to buffer the
harsh judgments. I have absolutely
no control over what happens next and there is still a good chance my younger
peers will become just as miserable and bitter as I have been most of my life. Fortunately, these apathetic schools
are few and far in between. And
the faculty, students, and parents of Hamburg Middle School in the Buffalo area
were anything but apathetic. In
fact, everybody blew me away.
The enthusiasm in response to my
presence was merely an acceleration of the progress that has already taken
place within the scholastic body.
During the first five minutes of my presentation, they had already
delivered at least four heavy rounds of applause. The humor and comedic students were not necessary to
stimulate this crowd because the passion was already present. The best part came when a little girl
asked the most amazing question I have ever heard from a student during my
career. She asked, “How can we
better help students who have disabilities?”
I let her know the best way to
help misunderstood students is, “Don’t be afraid. Be a friend.” I
wish this were my original statement, but it was actually purloined from my
good friend, Joey DiPaolo, who was the second child after Ryan White to
publicize his HIV/AIDS status. Ask
questions even though the occasional student may shirk back and say, “That is
none of your damn business! Got
it?? Most students with a
disability will prefer someone actually take the “radical step” to understand
than choose irrational fear or malice.
Or ignoring. Ignoring will
always be the worst form of abuse because it robs an individual of social
stimulation, which is the essence of life itself. The applause was absolutely deafening and the message shall
linger.
Bullying is not a rite of
passage and there are plenty of other ways to build character than entering a
world full of abuse and rejection.
It is also important for the world to understand that most individuals
who suffer from constant bullying are not going to write books that transform
them into quasi-celebrities. I
wrote my book to alleviate my suffering upon realizing how bullying does not
end when an individual enters the adult world. In some ways, it will grow progressively worse when the
irrational fear also comes with the burdens of job terminations, constant
misunderstandings, and even legal trouble. Public schools terminated me from substitute teaching
positions for benign infractions, such as telling a student my name is “Jesse”
instead of “Mr. Saperstein.” (The
final straw came when a bank threatened to refuse service because a fellow
employee was terrified of me.)
These days, however, it seems like the public is more likely to ask for
an autograph than treat me as a social pariah. I want to believe bullying is behind me, but have an
obligation to eradicate it for my peers who lack the resources to end it for
themselves. I will obsessively dwell
in the past to make the present a gift for others.
The family hosting me during my
visit was Christine Hoff, her husband, Tom, and their four amazing
children. Tom and Tim are both
students at the middle school. The
visit ended with the relentless falls of Niagara with unseasonably frigid
weather. But winter’s death-like
grip will soon be conquered with long-term vitality like a seasonal Benjamin
Buttons. But the school’s change
in attitude and scenery will undoubtedly remain permanent…
No comments:
Post a Comment