My nickname for winter is “The
Jewish Mother-in-Law Season.” It
has a chronic tendency to linger long after it has overstayed its welcome and
is a real pain in the butt to get rid of.
The full-blown summer is a welcomed change, but comes with its own side
effects. My occasional complaining
comes with the understanding the grass was certainly not greener on the other
side.
As someone with Asperger’s
syndrome, summer gives me the freedom to indulge in some of my obsessions
without burdened by the hazards of winter weather. There is motivation to exercise and become healthier. Such as on Thursday night when I
decided to make a desperate attempt to destroy the caloric catastrophe that has
perpetually settled in the round of my stomach.
When I was too young to know any
better, I always believed all the overweight people were those who make a
lifestyle choice to sit in front of the television on their days off while slam
dunking bags of potato chips. They
were the lazy and downtrodden who essentially gave up on pursuing life itself. I know this is not true based on the
amount of weight I have gained despite being a physically active individual who
avoids fast food restaurants like a plague. But as someone pushing thirty years old, I am beginning to
see that the body’s metabolism shows little to no mercy. Everything we put into our bodies
carries draconian consequences.
On Thursday night, I made a
choice to walk a distance of 29-miles all the way to my family’s clothing store
in Millerton, NY from my home in Pleasant Valley, NY It is hard to believe I once had the physical and mental
fortitude to walk from Georgia to Maine on the 2,174 Appalachian Trail based on
my struggles to complete this distance on flat roadways. But the essence of full-blown hiking
was still present and accounted for during this journey.
Even during the tepid summer
months with no harsh elements, a mile feels like an eternity. False hope is a constant and lethal
force on the journey. You feel
like you have been walking for hours and it has only been forty minutes. You see milestones that suggest
progress and want to believe you have come farther than is realistically
possible. Progress, however, is
calculated at the rate of two-and-a-half miles per hour. It could be more, but it certainly is
not less unless one stops multiple times.
No matter how grueling the trek almost always is…it is still incredible
how those tiny increments add up to amazing progress.
My journey began at 12:30 a.m.
and ended just minutes before noon on Friday. Nearly twelve hours of nothing, but walking. The last two hours of my journey was
spent banging two sticks together while singing verses of “Puff the Magic
Dragon” in a state of quasi-delirium.
I have come to the conclusion
that the only people who can afford to look really good all the time are those
who can afford personal trainers and a month’s worth of food from Weight
Watcher’s. But even the rich and
famous have struggles as evidenced from Jennifer Love Hewitt’s public
battles. But I shall not give up
or give in. Not now…not ever!
As someone living with
Asperger’s syndrome, there is not that much I have control over. I have little to no control over
whether an ignorant and/or fearful person decides to give me a fair
chance. I also do not have power
over whether a romantic pursuit reciprocates my affections. But I have just a little more control
over my physiology and am entitled to positive results if I make more of an
effort. I will continue to walk
like a masochistic maniac and consume as much celery as possible. Barnum and Bailey Circus recently
contacted me asking me to be part of the Freak Show as the world’s fattest
man. After this phone call, I have
decided it was time to take drastic actions in order to combat this metabolic
demon!!
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