I still live at home so it is a natural given that I have inherited all the chores nobody else in the family wants to do. Nighttime is the absolute best time to conquer such misery in the crisp night. I walked outside in my pajamas with a coat over my t-shirt and acknowledged the official start of winter. I am fairly sure we have seen the absolute last of unseasonably warm winter days that emit haunting reminders of global warming. Monday is garbage day, but this painful chore is now completed on Saturday night. I learned my lesson a few weeks ago when I had to run out in my boxer shorts at five or six a.m. to just barely meet the garbage men who pretended it was normal to see deranged, obsessed men so early in the morning. I hope nothing was exposed, but try not to think about it…
LISTS!! Life and daily chores now exist in the form of countless lists. Old lists and new lists. Three tasks have already been crossed off the list created a couple of hours ago because the busy work always gets crossed off first. Those tasks that take half a day to vanquish or require tons of mental energy always seem to linger. There are always those tasks that never get crossed off because they are a long-term project or I had attempted to take on too much in such a short time.
Life as a professional writer has become overwhelming and there is never enough time to get everything done. Just not enough hours of the day and I wonder how it was once possible to waste so much time watching re-runs of Full House without multi-tasking with something constructive. Were there actually those childhood days of yore in which I played the Bart Simpson game with that crude, primitive Super Nintendo animation? For hours and hours?
Success definitely has a price and I will be up all night answering e-mails after a huge fight with my family. They let me know that my web site has been destroyed by negligence and I realize how much effort it will take to build it back up. But this is what it will take to accommodate everyone and everything. I think it was Thomas Edison who did not believe in sleep because he believed it was a waste of time.
There will hopefully be much more of an incentive to stay awake within the near future. In just a couple of days my YouTube video will be sent to every media outlet in the country in hopes of putting an end to this constant nonsense that ruins lives. The bullying where kids see no hope in sight and believe taking their own lives is the only escape. Speaking of bullying, it is at night when those demons usually come to surface and the perfect weapon is to keep busy. I do not deserve to be so haunted forever and my mission is to prevent others from the same fate. There was too much pain for such a long time and it took writing a book for so much of it to end. And why should someone have to possess a disability in order to be treated with mercy? What is wrong with just being a little weird without a disability to justify tolerance?